The discussion helped us develop a game plan, phrases, and words we could use during the dirty talks. We also decided who would initiate the conversation as it was somewhat uncomfortable for both of us at the beginning. While flirty talk helped my partner understand my body better, it also initiated a deeper level of trust.
“Right there, that feels so good!”
It can rejuvenate a stale relationship, lift lowered spirits, and bring the honeymoon phase right back to your door. You could use this during foreplay, or while having sex with each other. If you’re going to do it harder, whisper it in her ears before you do it. If you’re going to bite her neck or let your hands wander, breathe into her ears and tell her before you do it. This is extremely effective because of the parallels.
Use These Words to Drive Her Wild
And another piece that Marla reminded me of is that so many people get turned on by recalling sexual memories. You can also play with dirty talk with that whole like “remember that time on the beach, when…” Or “I want to go back to that theatre where we snuck into the back row. “Spread your legs for me like your body is mine tonight,” or “you better do what I say or I’m not going to give it to you.” Or I might say you know, “I’m in charge.
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Instead, let it support everything else that’s happening in the bedroom. In other words, don’t feel the need to tell your partner something ~spicy~ while going at it if it doesn’t feel natural to you in the heat of the moment. Do you feel silly trying new lines, approaches and scenarios?
Start by expressing your desires or compliments during intimate moments in more straightforward, less intimidating ways. You can also try texting as a less direct approach to ease into dirty talk, gradually increasing your comfort level. Communication with your partner about your feelings towards dirty talk can also help. What dirty talk isn’t is some mysterious language.
That thing you did last time with your tongue — un-freaking-believable! Would they like you to do something that turns you on? This can be a great time to get to know your partner better. It’s about making them feel like they are the only person in the world. It’s about asking for what you want and then telling them how great they are. It’s about flirting and then having them flirt back.
The following conversation gives a great example on how you can use sexting to see if your partner would be into it or not. This example sext shows how to check-in with your partner throughout your sexting conversation to make sure everything is OK. All it takes is a “Should I keep going?” to ask for consent.
- If you don’t feel comfortable saying, “I want to fuck you so hard,” don’t say it.
- You don’t have to do everything and anything, you don’t have to love dirty talk.
- I thought talking dirty had to lead to sending erotic pictures and “sexting,” or saying bad words.
Lastly, she warns against the use of disrespectful language or pressure, as this can take away from the experience entirely. She also advises people to stop things if they are unsure of the non-verbal or verbal reactions they garner from the experience. Stating that it is best to ask for clarification and consent if this occurs.